Sometimes inaction can be more damaging than doing the wrong thing, and that seems to be the case with myself.
Now it's all well and good sometimes to just sit back and wait to see if some things clear themselves up, but then it gets to a point when you need to make choices.
Over the past few months I've begun to experience what can only be described as 'Chronic Fatigue' and what started as just feeling sleepy for a bit has transformed into feeling tired all the time. And as a result my work (both artwork AND my day job) have started to suffer. It is not a lack of wanting to do things, there are loads of things I want to get out of my head onto pixels to share with the rest of you, trouble is, after about 15 minutes of doing it I can barely keep my eyes open (my last Livestream being an example of that). Falling asleep after my dinner at around 7pm is becoming all to frequent, and the knock on effect is that it's screwing up my sleep cycle, which further adds to the fatigue.
Now medically the doctors can't find anything wrong with me, blood works are fine, no glandular problems or mineral deficiencies present. And in spite of what you may have heard about me, I don't actually drink a lot of coffee (3 cups max per day, usually 2), so after telling the doc about that, he shrugged it off, reassuring me that my caffeine intake was unlikely to be causing the problem.
Instead I suspect the issue is a psychological one, I worry a lot, I am hyper-critical about everything I undertake, I do it perfect or I don't do it at all. Period! Don't know if that's my upbringing or just something that got stuck in my head one day and never got out. In any case, it's clear I need to teach myself to loosen up. At this rate, I have to! Cause I'm now in danger of labeling my art as a negative to be avoided, every time I sit down in front of my iMac, I end up miserable at my own perceived failings.
So.. For the time being, I simply need to stop drawing.
Cause I risk gaining a bad reputation if I don't.